I was sitting on the back porch just moments ago and feeling restless and starting to feel a little down.  Like a splash of inspiration I remembered that I could write in my blog, I could somehow connect to the outside world.  Today I have been pouring endlessly over books.  Probably light reading for someone who would consider him or her self a scholar but so rich and exciting for me.  

I’m currently reading several books.  After reading all day it makes sense that one would want to somehow to give.  So I sit with a beer in my hand feeling somewhat uncertain of how my words could be a blessing to those reading now.  I want to bury my head in my hands and scream when I feel this loneliness at the end of the day.

I feel like the deeper I dive into this well which we call knowledge and wisdom the more endless I find its depths.  Yet what is knowledge?  What is wisdom?  In a philosophical sense there are probably volumes on the subject interlacing the certainties and uncertainties of human thought.  But perhaps the greatest thing that I learned today is that emotions and “convictions” play a role in truth.  There are practical paths to valid arguments arriving at truth.  

Perhaps now I am also struggling with the way I read scripture… do I read liberally or conservatively?  That is: Do I use scripture as a trajectory to reach further ‘convictions’ or do I see scripture as the Word of God in a more literal sense or the most literal sense?

Perhaps believing in Jesus Christ is viewed lowly no matter how you read the bible or what causes you put yourself into in the name of Christ….  In the end I believe we as Christians must not be like the Pharisees, must not hold a stance of self righteousness in any regards, but be unified in utter abandon to the God in which we profess.

These are my thoughts for today.  Thank you for letting me share them with you.  To those who read I pray for your blessing.  I am seeking guidance on my issues and I choose not to bring them up here, that is not the point of me writing, it is only to share.  

My faith is in a God who is gracious beyond measure, and my striving is to not abuse His generosity but grow towards Him in it.  I would just encourage Christ followers to not be afraid, to not be a door mat to society.  To love and serve and share, but not get bowled over by the many winds and storms of this world.  May the One who has overcome this world give you peace.  

The greatest thing I’ve learned from my restlessness is my need to actively be giving of myself.  It is so refreshing to let this flow through me now…