Why would I want to live for man
and pay the highest price
and what does it mean to gain the whole world
only to loose my life….

You can live for someone else,
and it will only bring you pain
I can’t even judge myself
only the lord can say
‘Well done’”

“This Journey is My Own,” Conversations, Sara Groves

Today I’ve been reflecting on my own anxieties and insecurities.  Last night I had the privilege of attending a piano recital by an phenomenal pianist who plays internationally and has won international competitions.  It …

today has been a day of quiet contemplation.  …how temporial are we humans that one minute we’re here the next we’re not, our soul moves on.  I kept thinking today I need to practice, I need to practice, I am no good unless I practice.  Although I must remember, no, know more deeply that it’s okay that I don’t practice, that ultimately it is God who is reigning on His throne over all who is the final say.  It is also a truth of scripture that God calls us sometimes …

Though you have not seen him, you love him.  Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory…  1 Peter 1: 8

I have written too little perhaps of joy.  I know in life there are periods of grief as the author of this epistle acknowledges as well…  but I think the same author who knew pain and the recipients of this letter who also knew pain, and really knew it, would both tell you that their …

all these chains
at your story fall
I await new life with thee
I await new life with thee
I await new life with thee

and the splendor of your calling
fills my heart with everything
your mighty love arises
push down the walls I built so strong
and all I hope to find in God is all surpassed in thee
in you
Jesus it’s in you
~”Descend,” Divine Embrace, Imago Dei (music)

Sometimes I wonder if my heart will ever truly soar on eagles wings.  Oswald Chambers notes that the most prominent thing about that verse in Isaiah, is walking …

Today is a slow start, but I’m making progress.  I’m sitting in the raven’s nest typing on my computer.  A little disappointed that I didn’t get anything written down for my blog yesterday, but encouraged by John to keep it coming to minister to the Lord and the readers of my blog.  I am consistantly reminded from the radio show I listened to on the way to Oregon for the first time.  That God intends to make sheep and not goats, and I want my work to be quality work. …

again and again
trembling and great tension
spirit filled life where to find?
no other than in the Lord

were it a more complex remedy
something more tangible to see
but instead we are told “faith,”
and in scripture do bathe

I am such a confounded Greek
my own wisdom ceaseless do I seek
but in my life I do attest
Christ crucified is the wisdom best

again and again
trembling and great tension
I to myself preach the gospel
and some peace the anxiety does dispel

Today the first sign of winter came in a big fluffy flakes of snow blanketing the ground.  Tonight I am really tired after eight hours of work plus two hours of driving in less than favorable conditions.  The roads turned out to be fine even with the snow however.  I was so tired that I got a $4.00 coffee to wake me up for the ride home, a bit extravagant for me, but it was good.  The four dollar coffee made me think of going to the Urbana student missions …