Why does one blog?  Especially since one does not have a very interesting life at the moment?  ….Donald Miller’s blog gave me some good and some funny encouragement this evening on writing about oneself.  (“Reflections on Endless Self Promotion” http://donmilleris.com/  )

It’s been an eventful day for me today.  I got up early and went to class for a deep lecture on Dante’s Paradiso.  After class was over I had a couple hours so I went to Old Cabel Hall, the building right across the lawn from the Rotunda with the statue of Plato in front.  I walked through the beautiful front hall with frescos celebrating the arts and down two sets of stairs into the basement of the building that makes up the music library.  There I studied music theory …

Fedrick Beuchner said that possibly the most authentic thing we can do as a Christian is wait.  I read this in a sermon he wrote this morning.  In the sermon he wrote of how his father committed suicide, then his father’s brother, and then his grandfather died of what he suspected was a broken heart.  I can not imagine the racking pain and depths of darkness those times must have been for Beuchner, who was at age 10 when all this transpired.  I can not give an adequate account of …

A sovereign protector I have,
Unseen, yet ever at hand;
Unchangeably faithful to save,
Almighty to rule and command.
He smiles, and my comforts abound;
His grace as the dew shall descend,
And walls of salvation surround
The soul He delights to defend.

~Toplady (quoted from Knowing God, J. I. Packer)

There are things that I am afraid of.  I have this hidden anxiety behind my actions and peace can be hard to find.  There is a tension a stress that is healthy, because we are at work in a fallen world.  “…The …

I am some times skeptical that I have much worth writing about, and that is where I am at this moment.  Another day has slipped by and I don’t know if I find myself much further along than I was the day before when I think about it honestly.  I’ve been working hard at practicing piano and doing reading.  I would like to volunteer for the literacy counsel in Culpeper, and I need to call them.  I need to get a job and work.  When I think about these goals …

the cool morning makes waking up slow
slower to warm the courage
to go about the tasks before me

so close to slipping back into
my sleep

yet the glow behind the blinds
persistently brightens
the darkness around me fading,
something is calling me forth

with heavy eyelids I read a psalm
Oh, my God
I wait
trusting in your faithfulness
tho darkness be

a proverb,
harken upon discipline
marry that fair maiden
wisdom

slowly I come to life
taking in the light

Wholeness would also involve accepting my spiritual brokenness, accepting individual strengths, and accepting my individual weaknesses.  Therein lies the freedom to live.  It scares me to think of these things.  To not be in control.  I must trust that there is an all mighty, all knowing, all loving God who is in control and who does look after me.  I think this is what is truly meant behind that cliche “Let Go and Let God.”